Mind your own fucking business

I'm in line today (not on line because I'm in California not NY) at the Berkeley Bowl and somebody behind me taps me on my shoulder. What the fuck? So I turn around and this dip shit asks me if I'm buying the light bulb that's on the conveyor belt. I ask "what?" not believing what I just heard. And he asks me again and I reply "yeah." Then he says "haven't you heard of the coily ones?" and I of course know he's talking about the longer lasting fluorescent bulbs which I don't need in this instance. So I respond and say that I'm familiar and that I own some of those. He then says "oh but you don't want one of those this time?" and I just laugh. What the fuck? What the fuck does he know about what I need this bulb for? Why the fuck does he think it's ok to first of all tap me on my shoulder and give me shit for the fucking light bulb I'm buying? Was this an environmental thing that I needed education on? I don't know because after he made some comment in another language to his girlfriend he proceeded to talk about playing golf. Fucking golf? On a golf course? In Northern fucking California? Have you heard about the fucking drought? Mind your own fucking business asshole. Oh and get a new hat. Knock off Gucci hats are pretty fucking lame.

Don Baron is "The Man"

MATT! dude, it's great that you're complaining online (not that it will help anything).

let me know when skyla leaves town. i'll come over with a case of natty light and we'll show kensington how white trash we can really get! here is what our day looks like.

1) 930 am: Don Baron wakes up and pounds a natty light.

2) 945 am: Don Baron considers showering but says fuck it.

3) 1000 am: Don Baron leaves for Kensingfuck with a case of natty lights, all kinds of salty foods, a domino's pizza, two buckets of fried chicken and 3 foot bong.

4) 1030 am: we've just eaten a whole chicken. high five!!

5) 1100 am: bong rips

6) 1130 am: we've just watched hour 1 of 5 of ESPN classic . I'm wearing a visor and an "i'm with asshole " t-shirt

7) 1200 pm two words: SHOTGUN

8) 1230 pm more football.

9) 100 pm Don Baron implores you: more football!

10) 130 pm: Don Baron passes out in a bucket of cole slaw


we'll show this regime what we're really about!! well, until the boss gets back anyway.

October 21, 2007 6:40 PM

The Cleveland Indians Suck

They could have at least pretended like they wanted to beat the Red Sox. Man, did they let them off the hook or what? Kenny Lofton, what are trying to do by heading to 2nd? You're team is down by 2 runs and you need base runners. Granted, he was safe but why risk it? Then the next inning the 3rd base coach has a total brain lock by holding Lofton. Where is Ron "send him no matter what" Washington when you need him? I've never been a Rockies fan but I am now. Fuck the Red Sox. I would say fuck the fans too but I know and like too many of them.

Roundabout

More often than not I have to go through a roundabout to get home. The one I have to drive through is called the Arlington Circle. It should be renamed The Cluster Fuck Circle because that's what it is. Nobody yields to the traffic in the circle, hardly anyone actually stops at the stop signs and hardly anyone signals to let people know if they are leaving the roundabout. WHAT THE FUCK? I'm not actually surprised since it's in Berkeley. I've lived in Kensington for exactly 3 weeks and I've almost gotten into 3 accidents in the Cluster Fuck Circle. I guess my problem is that I don't like people to cut me off so I try to push it as far as I can without getting in to an accident. I don't like people to get away with shit. When people don't yield to my right of way in the circle I take it as a dis and I don't like getting dissed. I could just try and avoid the circle but what fun is that?

"The New Regime"

Skyla thinks she runs the show now. Ever since we moved into our new home in Kensington (pronounce it with your teeth gritted like Thurston Howell, III) Skyla has been talking about this so called "New Regime." The first few times I heard about the "New Regime", we'll call it NR from now on, during harvest I just kind of shrugged it off. But all through harvest all I heard about was how different things were going to be from now on. What, did I get married or something? Jesus! Here is the NR manifesto as I see it:

Rule #1- No more getting bullied around by Luke and Matt
Rule #2- No eating dinner in front of the TV. (Although we just did that last night. HA!)
Rule #3- No football on Sundays.
Rule #4- No football period.
Rule #5- No sports on TV with the sound on. (Ok, I can tolerate this. Barely.)
Rule #6- I know there must be a rule #6 and more but I can think of any off the top of my brainwashed head.

Now I know why she wanted to move so badly. It's all about control. But then again isn't it always about control? I guess it's about gaining the upper hand. I think I smell a hundred year war coming....